why?

as a human being, one (especially me) cannot run from questioning about whatever that has been destined by Allah for us..

why can't i get pregnant without having to feel like this?everyday is about 'jelepekness'..mual luga terbalik..pening berpusing2..semput..everytime..24/7..i forced myself to do things around the house but failed most of the time..kept repeating the word sorry and thank you so much to beloved husband..*isk*

coming back to my senses (slapping both of my balooning cheeks) Allah has given the most precious gift ever, having the chance to give dear husband another bundle of joy and a younger sibling for darling aqil who is getting more independent as ever is something so priceless (despite the agonizing pain when giving birth wuwu)..all the things that i had to go through now remind me more of Allah and made me appreciate my husband more and hopefully he will too..*hugs*

why do i now have to be thinking or forced to hold my semesters due to my condition? a few close friends from ukm kept calling me asking me what subjects i'm taking this semester nak together2 lalala through the semester..huhu..sedih pikir kalau tak grad same2 and amik difficult subjects same2 so that boleh pening and work hard together..tapi rase mcm nak kuatkan semangat utk pegi juga sambung jgk my semesters..huhu..

coming back to my senses maybe it will be a good thing if i postpone but the whole year tu yg buat den raso borat sikit eh..huhu..but can i manage to drive or maybe go by bus and naik turun train before reaching kajang..huhu..pening2..and haven't make up my mind yet over this matter...

why does japan have to have really strict rules for pregnant mothers to board a plane form their airport????huhu..ayuni and my abengoh decided to go to japan for their honeymoon in may so we decided to tag along as dear husband was excitedly saying 'bile lagi yang jom pegi ramai2' siap suruh ajak mak ayah segala bagai..so we decided yeah jom since its during school holidays and the ticket price was reasonable for the three of us..aqil's ayahchik tak sabar nak bawak aqil pegi disneyland sume so best!so the tickets were bought online and the TAC number had been keyed in and just about to click the CONFIRM button for the purchase of the tickets, my darling brother called from japan telling me in frustrations about the whole procedures for pregnant women when boarding a plane from japan..japan highly cares for people coming in and out of their country up to a level where pregnant women should have a check up and get confrimation from their hospitals saying that we are fine enough to board the plane..and that will cost an additional hospital fee of Allah knows how much..my darling adik din asked 'kaklong if 5 months pregnant nampak tak because kalau tak nampak kite pregnant diorg takkan question' and i went 'kaklong kalau tak pregnant pun perut dah mcm berape bulan if 5 bulan pregnant dah nampak mcm nak beranak kot haha!'..and there goes our japan getaway..

coming back to my senses well i guess Allah wants us to use the money for other purposes especially for the new baby and insyaAllah we will get there some other day as adik din is going to be staying there for another few more years insyaAllah!maybe rezeki anak no.2 untuk sampai kesana together with us hehe..*sobsjugaksikit*

anyway, leaving the whys and now thinking of the word how. how am i supposed to hold on to my senses to be in the car for more than 20 minutes for our journey back to kb huhu..will be going back to see the specialist and to meet mak..adeh..may Allah help us through our journey back...amin..