Wednesday, June 29, 2011

my true first love

the first time i saw your face, you were covered with slimy white fat all over and was crying with your blue turning red face (as you were stucked for quite a while in the 'alley' as ibu faced quite a hard time pushing hehe)..i felt numb at that time due to the pain of pushing and i even passes out for a few seconds. but as i began coming into reality, i started to realize that your ayag was crying besides me telling me 'anak kite sayang anak kite sayang' and your nenek and mama came inside crying i then began to realise that you have arrived into this world to be with us and i began crying thanking Allah for the pain and the joy your bring. alhamdulillah..

now you are 2 years old sayang..time flies so fast and i fail to not being able to forget the days when i get to cuddle you as a baby.i miss the 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 and etc month of you.i miss your cooing and humming.aishh..i love you sayang..

well, just to note how you had to undergo a serious situation days before you turn 2. my heart was ripped and torn seeing you suffering from the agonizing pain. i never failed to ask for Allah to move the pain to me. but alhamdulillah, you were being very strong and you managed to overcome the difficult moments. i was strong because of you and your ayah. i could still remember on the night back from the kuantan specialist, with us knowing that you were in serious condition and we had to rush back to kota bharu for you to get warded, i was sitting in the back seat and your ayah was besides me and you were sleeping on your ayah's lap. i was crying uncontrollably because in my heart i knew that this thing about you was big and i just could not take it at that time. your ayah held out his hand and squeezed my hand tight and said to me'jgn nangis yang. it's gonna be alright. abang ade'. and he has tears dwelled up in his eyes. i cried even worse. but i grew stronger in my heart. deep down. but i want you to know that your ayah too cried hard. he stayed cool when we were on our way to the operation theatre. but then, when he assisted you into the pre-operation room and hold you until you were being put to sleep, he came out sobbing. those moments were tough for us sayang.

well, your ibu and ayah learned a lot of things from what the three of us had to go through for the past few weeks.Allah destined you to be sick and opened up our eyes on many things. we reflected back and we could see the things that we did wrongly and the good things that we did not do. we could see the real true friends who would ask about how you are doing everyday and came to see you despite their busy schedule and setbacks as compared to those who live nearby by do not even bother to come visit you. i don't really mind, but deep down in my heart it made me a bit sad. but on top of all that, you are healthy now and that's enough. but as stressed by your ayah, we should not do whatever that other people do to us (bad and hurtful things). we should learn from it and do not do what those people do to other people that we love. so that is why we still went to visit your aunty miza although you were having a fever at that time because we did not have any other time to go. although your aunty miza was fully recovered and can walk around laughing after the operation a month ago, we should visit her to show we care and love her. alhamdulillah, your fever lasted for only two days. can you see how Allah loves us sayang?;)

 alhamdulillah, those things make us to be better people. we must always remember that Allah will not make us face hardships that we cannot handle. we learn from what Allah has put us through. it changes a few things inside us.

and you, you are growing stronger and wiser each day. remember that we love you so much no matter what okay? we love you so much.