*being me*

i used to dream of becoming an educator since little..err i mean..it was one of the dream..whenever we were supposed to fiil in the green or blue (can't remember) cards in the primary school where you're asked to fill in what your ambitions and hobbies and etc were..i'd have three (which for me at that age sounded soo cool) ambitions to fill in the three columns provided.

**doktor**peguam**pensyarah**

haha..little that i know i was not even any of them hihi..but closest to the latter one *pensyarah* i am..a teacher..and english teacher..and i love my job so much nowadays..

some people may choose the profession as they have no other choices and that being a teacher means having a definite job in the field of teaching..little do they know what's waiting for them in schools..those who can survive and who are able to 'carve' and leave something in a school that they are teaching should be given a thumb up (which i am wondering when i am able to do that huhu)..those who venture in other things not bringing up their roles as educators..hmm..i would not want to go into those things..nauzubillah..

my beloved father and mother never failed to remind me and my siblings..everything that we do..'niat kerana Allah'..especially now when i am doing four heavy duty jobs hehe..'niat kerana Allah kaklong..'insyaAllah ayah..

being a teacher has taught and is teaching and i'm sure will be teaching me a lot of things in life..almost everyday (especially the journey to and fro my work 'places') i'd have some time to do some reflections and thinking..well adlina are you that busy??i must say yes i truly am..so much..hi..having two different level of students and being a student myself made me to be loving my job more and more and making me to love my students and appreciate them as who they are more!..everything is more..huhu..(otak kita dah bercabang seribu ibu~beepop 2010)..he..

except for my time with beloved suami and aqil..we have less time and aqil seems to..isk isk..owh never mind i love you so much baby no matter what..but..every single free time that i have..is dedicated just for these two guys..

things that will bring us good fortunes can't be easy..there must be some uphill battle or we might lose it all..(tetibe rse macam lagu pulak waduh)..and things won't be difficult all the time..we will be able to go through the ups and downs with guidance from the Almighty and the love given by our belovedssss..you will not always have things to go in your way and you cannot expect things that will make your life easier will not require you to do  sacrification..the word 'sacrifice' is my best friend now..i'll be holding on insyaAllah..

it is very true that things do not happen without a reason..like if it wasn't for us following my father furthering his studies in the UK..i will not have the skills of english like i have now (am not saying that i'm brilliant in the second language) but before going to the UK my score for english was really bad..below par hehe..but alhamdulillah we had the chance to use the language in context and i'm thankful for that..if it wasn't for that..i do not know what i will be doing now..every cent that i am getting is now based on the skills of the english language.i'm only good at that and Alhamdulillah..Allah has helped me to sustain what i have in order to give and add the knowledge of my beloved school children in their schooling and studying years..amin..

being a teacher is a blissful role..

there may be hardships and tribulations..

but i am sure..in the end..

it is something that can bring a smile..

to our faces..

the sweats and tears will insyaAllah..

be the ups and downs towards our success..

dunia dan akhirat..

amin..

*and actually, being a mother is the best unpaid job ever!(mesti nak masuk jugak about aqil hi...)*
*ibu loves aqil so much*

my love+life

*i have loved you since the day you were born*

*and you just can't imagine how much i love you right at this juncture*

*i thank Allah for sending you both into my life*

*Alhamdulillah*

*we'll be holding your hands until the day that you can really 'walk' on your own*

*but we hope you'll always look back and remember that we are always here for you*

*muhammad aqil~we love you~ 

muhammad aqil bin muhamad ridzuan

it is always amazing and got me all teary eyed when seeing how my baby grows.
 from being such a cuddly infant to a walking non stop toddler.                          
*sigh* time flies fast and like some mothers, i wish he wouldn't be growing that fast. now i am actually starting to miss the times when his most comfortable place was in my arms..looking at me with his innocent eyes..

a few days old..

now he is an active toddler who makes me sweat myself burning calories (but no additional fat is burn actually) trying to keep up with him. i enjoy that so much that every evening we would have a walk outside the house..and he'd hold and my hand and mumble words as if he was trying to have a conversation with me.hee..i 'm having less time with him due to work so i try to use the time that i have with him as wisely as possible. so what i am and will be doing are:

*he is no longer sleeping on his bed at the moment. he'll be sleeping with us on our bed (thank you en Suami for being so understanding!) with me hugging him..early in the morning he would always wake up for his milky time.he'll go 'bu bu bu' kisses me all over on the face hug me and 'lentok' his head on my body and sleeps~this..ibu would treasure for the rest of my life aqil~*

*my workload requires my time with aqil to be a bit limited (`aqil, do remember that i am doing this for you)..so..each moment that i have will be used by having 'us time'..and for a start, we'll be bringing aqil to the jerantut hill's pool today insyaAllah..because pool is one of his favourite things..love you..*

*am having more reading time with him and stay by his side more during his video time..he is in love with the azan from the i can't remember tv9 or ntv7 by a boy with such a glowing face..and he loves the alif ba ta song..aqil..may Allah helps me to train you to be a good umat islam..amin..*

*he loves to eat!(i wonder where he gets that from) so i am trying my best to make weekends to be my 'homecooking' session..preparing nutritious meals for mr darling aqil and en Suami yang amat kucintai hihi...*

my aqil is also starting to show us his list of favourite things..which are;
*the beach and the pool (due to the recent visit to cherating~a treat from aqil's mama~*
*books*
*videos of azan and tasbih*
*videos of nursery ryhmes and upin ipin*
*he is always fascinated when seeing us perform our prayers and reciting the al-quran alhamdulillah*
*he would smile to his ears when seeing us my husband and i getting cuddly hehe*

well..it's gonna be a tough journey for this coming 2 to 3 years..i'm gonna be needing all the love and support from my belovedsss..
*can i be thankful again for having one of my BFFs with me along the way?* winkwink

i'm in love with you every second..

~this is it~

image by 'google'

it's always impressing and fascinating to see how one can achieve out of the ordinary without having to give their all..

it's always heartwarming and bringing tears to my eyes witnessing those who do achieve outstanding things in their lives but having to sacrifice a lot of things...

i guess i am the latter one..minus the ^outstanding^..hihi..

*Aku berniat kerana Mu ya Allah*

Bimbingkan lah kami dalam mencapai apa yang kami impikan..

image by google

*this one goes to my BFF ~ tuan habibah tuan ali*

p:s~ let us reach for what we are able to go for. the stars are as a start. *i love you*

image by google

*and my happiness involves the happiness of the people that i love*

*dearest en Suami and aqil sayang~i love you so much that it really hurts to have to do this*

~but please, don't forget that i truly love both of you, so much~

image by google

*huhu*

am starting on a very challenging journey..
it's gonna be tiring..
physically..and emotionally..
my time with darling aqil will be less(this actually hurts a lot)
my time with en suami yang amat ku cintai will be..i don't know..maybe our snuggling time will be about me mumbling how tired and stressed out i am rather than just embracing the supposed to be quiet moment that we have for each other..and he'll go "sabar..hmm..hmm..itu yang sayang pilih..hmm.."and am still wondering how that actually made me feel better although deep inside i want him to talk back as much as i am!hihi..

can i be able to perform all the roles that i am supposed to be playing..
a wifey..
a mother..
an educator..for 2 very different roles and situations
a student..

that is actually being summed up as a fivesome hehe..
created by papee, bipop and I when we were joking around in the car..

and yes..these two of my BFFs (do note that i have my other BFFs it's just that they were not with us during this time!hihi) play great roles as my motivators..

in fact the tiring journey back and forth yesterday did not really bother me as we were laughing with jokes blurted out esp by papee sayang..
she never failed to make me laugh  my heart out..

apart of all the things above which until now is making me wonder can i be able to do these..i'm thankful that i have all the people that i love supporting me..believing in me (although i myself am not sure that i am believing in myself!) huhu..

well..i guess..i have Allah as always to turn to..

Ya Allah..kuatkan lah dan tabahkan lah hati hamba mu ini..
Aku melakukan segalanya dengan izin Mu..
Amin..

*can't wait for tomorrow's getaway~cause i really need that~wiiii!*